This isn't one of the many posts arguing for or against Free Basics from Facebook. There is, in fact, a threat far, far bigger than Facebook violating Net Neutrality and all that jazz. And that, is Facebook turning into a mass archive of wedding albums and honeymoon itineraries.
This post is a not so exhaustive list of the Free Basics that every Indian feels entitled to:
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| Courtesy: The Guardian |
- Masala Puri - no questions asked
- Singh - chana at bars
- Space for 13 tonnes of luggage in trains
- Take home towel and personal care kits from hotel rooms
- Extra supaari at Paan shops
- Take away saunf in tissue papers at restaurants
- On demand, extra pyaaz with Punjabi food
- Water, electricity, WiFi, daily entertainment and long, long radio and TV ads in areas (mis) governed by Arvind Kejriwal
- Unrestricted access to public roads for religious and/or wedding processions
- One half of the road to park our SUVs while we have a grilled sandwich and special chai in this popular roadside joint
- Dhanya - mirch top-up from vegetable vendors
- Blazer, tie and lapel pin upon admission in B schools
- Discounts/cashbacks on *any* service availed online or via a mobile app
- Also bargains on *anything* availed from poor roadside vendors while a 160 Rs. Vada Pav at PVR is, of course, cool
- Spit, pee and throw garbage anywhere, anytime - because we pay taxes
And finally, the most important of all - one that beats even Masala Puri by a huge margin:
16. Unconditional right to cause inconvenience to others so long as it suits us
Large multi national corporations, tech giants, the Indian industry and government entities may collude all they like - breach fair competition principles, create monopolistic markets and piss off all sorts of activists. So long as the sacrosanctness of these 'free basics' is upheld, we'll be fine.
Do you have suggestions that could be added to this list? Please feel free to write to TRAI.
